Repent ye, Mummy dearest

Our Friday started off fabulously, so much attention as we went with Mummy to the hairdresser’s and after that we headed over to Peter Jones.  “Oh my goodness! So cute!” the people we encountered exclaimed. “So soft” they always seem surprised when they stroke us.

As it was Friday, Jaffa was heading to the country so Mummy couldn’t leave George with her. It was a day we did everything together. This was us riding the bus, the both of us on Mummy’s lap – a balancing feat for all concerned.

Well, things didn’t stop then. Later in the day Mummy had to go to Hampstead – to one of her “building sites”.

Mummy’s been training me and sometimes George by taking us to her projects – to learn that loud noises are not all bad.  I am learning and I sit quietly and let things go on. Other days, some things just irk me and I tell them off.

George is particularly not very good.  He either barks at the person making the noise or he runs.

Well, Friday didn’t turn out to be a good day for all three of us. I think we’ll let Mummy do the talking – she needs to explain herself! 🙁

May’s comment: We started off Friday well but it was one of those days when I had no one to leave the dogs with and I needed to go to North London as one of my interior projects is nearing the end. And I’ve realised recently why we seem to fall out with builders always towards the end of a project. We always start a project in much admiration of each other, excited about the project but as we cross over from construction to decorating, something seems to happen. The builders almost sigh a relief that the bulk of the difficult work is done and now it’s just the “fussy details” – whereas, the client is now starting to see the end of the tunnel and they cannot wait to finally see the end product now that all the dirty work has been done and the fun part begins. Builder and clients at polar ends at this stage of the project.

So that was the situation on Friday.  Client wants to move in on Sunday. It had been announced to all concern that the Cleaning Team arrives on Sat at 9.15am We must strip all floor covering and all plastic covers – to let the dust settle. I had to spend as much time there as I possibly could so I thought to bring the dogs along – after all there’s almost half a third of a football pitch back garden – and they can run and play to their heart’s content while I got on with what I had to do.  As mentioned many times before, George stresses out during car rides. And it was a long way up to Hampstead. I was trying so hard to stop him from panting, reassuring him and cuddling him – but he just couldn’t get it out of his head to not pant while shaking in his skin the entire journey. Yes, I was annoyed with him. Why can’t he be like Darcy? What happened to him that made him that way?

Well, once there, things didn’t go as planned. One, Darcy would never stay in the garden by herself if I wasn’t with her.  George would investigate for a while but he would soon come in too. Upon entering the home, I was immediately irate!  It was a building site and no one made any attempt to clean up. Disaster! So “Bossy Boots” aka ME started ordering the foreign builders around.  The little English that they understood, they sure got the gist of what I was saying. They just knew I was MAD and I was pushing them to do what I wanted. And when they didn’t, I knew the only way to get them to do what I wanted was to start doing them myself.  As I started to strip the floor coverings myself, it made very loud noises and because it was me creating the awful noise, neither Darcy nor George barked at me. Instead, I think my angry energy scared them.

When the builders left the front door open when loading the rubbish, George did a runner. I didn’t see him do it but when my client asked where George was, her 10 year old son, Liam ran out the door and saw George down the road and went to bring him back. A few moments later, again there was no George in the garden, nor house. I ran out calling his name and a neighbour heard me and came towards me with him in her arms.  They had seen him running across the street, ran after him and picked him up thinking he was lost. I knew then I had better tie him up in the garden because the builders obviously didn’t care what they did. And I might not be so lucky the next time.

Darcy, well, she would never do anything like that. Or so I thought.  After George was tied up, she started to run out the door when I ran after her, and already in a bad mood, I shouted at her and smacked her bottom for being “naughty” and then tied her up too.  I felt bad for both of them, but that was the only way to keep them safe.  I was beside myself with annoyance with the builders and I must have been transferring that anger to my dogs.

Tired and stressed out, we left for home. On the long car ride down to south London, we were all quiet. Darcy laid her head on my lap and stayed there, not moving. George sat on my lap trying hard not to pant with anxiety. The 40-minute car ride gave me time to reflect on the earlier circumstances.

Things could have ended up badly. George ran out – not because he was naughty but he was scared off by the noise. He was fleeing because it was Mummy who was making all that noise.  And even Darcy, I thought, Darcy who never leaves my side, she was considering running away because she was scared. I will never forget the look on her face as she looked back at me as she was heading out the doorway.  I called her, she turned and her expression was one of confusion. She couldn’t understand my anger. Was I going to tie her up too?  She thought she might have to flee from the situation. What did I do?  Do I really need to subject them to such situation? I could leave them at home and they would be bored during the long time I leave them, but probably less stressful for them.  But I selfishly wanted their company.

Late in the night, I looked at them lying on my bed and I started to weep with regret for letting the situation get the better of me.  Here are two beings who have been nothing but loyal to me, who are so attached to me and all they would rather do is to be with me.  When no one else is around, they were always there by my side.  And despite all that happened earlier in the day, they still wanted to be with me.

I felt ashamed of my behaviour, of my being so inconsiderate of their fears.

I am sorry. I have made so many mistakes and you keep forgiving me. I am so undeserving of your love but I will try and be better. 🙁

I was telling a friend this and he said, they will always love you regardless and I said, that’s the problem. Sometimes they are loyal to a fault!  I don’t deserve their love. 🙁

 

10 Comments

  1. Laura Cordovano

    You are human May. It’s what we do. It doesn’t hurt them to see you this way once in a while. I think they get so used to being the center of attention that it doesn’t hurt them to toughen up a bit. But boy oh boy do I know that feeling of remorse. It will pass. Hopefully soon! Xoxo

  2. Liz Burman

    Oh May, we’re all human, don’t beat yourself too much. Perhaps leaving them at home might be the best thing, especially when dealing with builders, who are notorious for being behind in their schedule. Your doggies are lucky to have you, you include them so much in your life.😘

  3. Clare Kurdi

    Oh May, I was in tears!…your gorgeous George and Darcy love you unconditionally, never forget that…& tomorrow’s a new day…enjoy it together…x🐶💕🐾x

  4. Cheryl

    We’ve all been there, whether with our kids or our pets! We sometimes have unrealistic expectations for them, and when they don’t do what we think they should we get upset. Just say your sorry, give them extra snuggles and maybe some treats! I’m sure all will be forgiven!
    I’m just so glad George was captured each time, and you stopped Darcy from getting out!

  5. Sandra Curran

    We certainly have all been there and thank goodness for you that all is well. Your stressful day gave me pause for thought as I have been ill with a bad virus and feeling very guilty this afternoon I bundled Fozzie into the car and we went to one of our favourite walking spots (normally we would have walked) it is safe away from the road and he can have a good run around off his lead. Well because of all the rain he found an enormous muddy smelly puddle and decided to have a good wallow. This made me very cross and he got a good telling off cause he then muddied all the car and the hall and stairs at home where he had to then have a shower. I then cried because I thought this is your own fault maybe with hindsight I should have just had a walk round the park with him and kept him on his lead. He was only doing what dogs do and if I hadn’t been feeling so dreadful it would have probably made me laugh once I had got over it. We are indeed only human they will have forgotten you were cross by tomorrow and you will no doubt have something lovely planned to do with them xx

  6. Sam and Lola x

    I’m so glad they are ok. We all have ‘bad days’ but they love you no matter what and one of the many things that makes our pups so special, is that they don’t hold grudges!! Hope Saturday was a good one.🐾😘😘

  7. Margaret Danks

    Oh May, don’t feel so bad. I expect that most if us have been in a similar stressed situation. What we tend to forget is that our little 4 legged babies are dogs. Dogs don’t think like us humans and whilst we can train them to the nth degree, certain situations will still upset them. I remember last year going on car journey with friends and Maggie would not sit still with me in the back. I was getting so stressed with the whole journey which clearly transferred to her and I shouted at her and like you, smacked her bottom fir being naughty. She wasn’t being naughty, she was just very uncomfortable with the whole situation and I didn’t deal with it well. I felt soooo bad that one, I had shouted at her and two, that I had raised my hand to her… something I would clearly take other people to task for! We are all human May. Your doggies love you and thank goodness they are safe. That is the main thing. 🐾❤️😘

  8. Rita Betteridge and Gracie

    Back in 2012 when Geoff had his heart attack and we had rushed to the hospital totally forgetting to put Gracie 7 mths old in her crate I returned alone in the early hours to find that she had completely shredded her bed in both boredom and fear of bring left alone. First I shouted then I cried then I hugged her very tightly and cried some more…the air was thick with emotion (and stuffing from her bed ,the dining room looked like a snow globe!) but we calmed down took a deep breath and despite several threats over the years of going back to her boarding kennels home she’s still as you know very much part of the family. As others have said a new day dawns and a dog’s unconditional love and loyalty knows no bounds. Deep breath and continue with your lives they are super lucky to have you May ( and you them).🤗 Hope the project was seen as a success by the clients too.xx

  9. Anne McCormack

    Ben always sticks by my side. When I’m sitting he wants to sit on my lap. Sometimes it’s suffocating and I shout at him to get off me. Leave me alone. He looks at me with such a sad face and I am so sorry for my bad behaviour to a little body who lives me dearly. He always forgives me.

  10. Lucca

    Yes you do XXXX

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