A Promise

I was aware that Mummy had thought long and hard about re-homing HWHNN.  We spoke about it almost every night since he came into our home. We spoke about it in bed together – just she and I while HWHNN slept in the crate.

She went through all the pros and cons. She listed them all out.

She spoke to friends on email, on Facebook, over coffees and walks in the park. She emailed friends all over the world – trying to get some sense of affirmation of what she was about to do! She had sleepless nights.

The deliberation went on for a whole week, pushed off every possible person who even wanted the option to adopt, promised Hungary Hearts Dog Rescue that there will always be a place for HWHNN till he has one. She looked at all the practical aspects – made sure there was nothing in the leasehold that does not allow her more than one dog.

She knew that in time, HWHNN will end up in the bed with us, so she need not worry having a crate permanently taking up space.

She reviewed the financial implications of insurance, feeding, travel costs.  Not that much more for an additional dog except for when she travels.

That was one uncertainty that seemed to have been caught in a tangle.  Mummy and I, we travel quite often.  What do we do with HWHNN? Besides the financial implications of travel or not, there’s also the practicality.

When we’re not travelling together, I go to the House of Mutt. Even if he doesn’t go to the House of Mutt, she needed to find him a place to go to.

And if she brought him along, it gets more complicated. We have a routine, I know how it works when we get on trains, buses, taxis, boats and even airplanes. When we go somewhere that are not so dog friendly (like Paris taxis), she carries me in a bag. But it would be with difficulty and a struggle if HWHNN comes along. When we stay in hotels – one dog is less imposing than with two.

The other thing nagging at her was how she and I can still have our time together – our “just-the-two-of-us” time.  She and I have settled into such a comfortable routine, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to disrupt her life again.  She talked to friends about “sharing” him but then felt guilty – what if he felt abandoned again.

Then on Thursday, someone pleaded with her to let him have HWHNN.  The guy was adamant that he and HWHNN had a connection. She went to meet him to see what it was all about, keeping in mind that she was not the only person who can give him a home and someone else can love him just as much and even more. But just before that meeting she got a message back from a friend in Thailand who told her –

“Life’s too short.  If it’s not too much of a bother – consider it. Sometimes we have to be brave to gain our happiness. Enjoy yourself and your journey.” She knew then she had to follow her heart.  Her heart said to protect, to give love, to make sure HWHNN is equipped with knowledge to take on this new city, this new world he has been brought into. She wanted him to know that he no longer needs to beg and be a scavenger when it comes to food (though even I do not stop looking!), that he will never be left out in the cold nor have to shelter when it rains. He will know that there is someone to protect him.

She was over-thinking too far into the future.  Yes, she was being realistic, but things evolve and habits or routines can change.  And emotions can be stronger than any circumstances.

As for me, I am fine with it.  Actually, I have been fine with it since the second day he arrived. I just didn’t want Mummy to forget she never consulted me and I was trying to make her feel guilty! 🙂  It’s nice to have a playmate. He can be my naughty little brother.  He is a good little chap and I will do my part to make sure he knows he is safe here in our home.But the conditions are – he will have to learn to pose for the camera. He will have to put on a raincoat for when it rains. He will have to be sure he’s clean before he jumps on our bed.

And I am first and foremost in Mummy’s life but there will always be room for the little dinky “He-Who-Has-No-Name”

May’s comment:  Finally the decision has been made and he’s staying. There is of course still a possibility that things may not work out but for now, we are just going to take it day-by-day.  He has already embedded himself in my heart. He just needs a chance to embed himself into my life. It will take time for us to get to know each other without the pressure to do it or not to do it, to appreciate each other and to help each other – on both our life’s journey.

When put into perspective, it is not a bother.  It’s really about taking the time for another being – whether its toilet or recall training, feeding, bathing, walking or just spending time with each other playing.  But that’s exactly what was worrying me …

I did not want to upset the status quo of Darcy and Me.  It has already and now it will be – the three of us.  Daily life routines are already different.

I wonder if I will love him as much as I love Darcy.  He won me over from the minute I saw him.  He is a charmer.With Darcy, it has been a love that has grown – it wasn’t love at first sight. Rather. it was “shock at first meeting” – thinking what on earth have I done! But she showed me love and loyalty and before long I learnt to reciprocate.  That love and that bond grew over time. There was a Darcy-sized hole in my heart which I didn’t know existed.  And she filled it nicely.

Is there also a HWHNN-sized hole in my heart that I am unaware of?

Yes, I wonder if I am biting off more than I can chew.  His training needs time.  Besides that he is fabulous, almost perfect!  Even though he had a tough start in life, he is an intelligent dog and uses charm instead of aggression to survive. And within a week he has made huge steps. We have a routine now, albeit having to adapt our schedule to his.

So in the end, all the concerns are my own selfish needs.  Having two dogs is like having a third child after two. But others who have two have also said – they would never go back to having just one.

He is a part of my life’s journey. That road is too short to waste precious time over thinking things.  For now the mind has been reassured and the heart will just have to continue to be brave and move forward.