My checklist:
Bark softly – I usually bark when I hear noises or smell people I don’t like coming up the stairs, or when I see dogs I don’t like. But sometimes I bark when I am excited. Not sure how one barks softly. You either have a real bark or you’re just yappy. I have a proper bark and every time I do, Mummy tells me to be quiet. When I get told off at home, I would turn it down a couple of notches and go “suff”, and be told off again so I go into a low growl. I usually have the last say. 🙂
Love often – you mean, show love often? I think I love but I only demonstrate it when I haven’t seen Mummy in awhile – 10 mins or 5 hours or 30 days – same amount of love giving. Sometimes we have quiet exchanges of love messages – me licking her face. And she gives me hugs or walks around the flat with me in her arms.
Do my best – I always do! When do you ever see me going for a half hearted walk or chase a ball with less than over enthusiasm? I eat like it’s my last meal and slurp my water for all to hear.
Guard the house – I do, but I get told off for barking. No win situation on this one.
Be patient – ok. I think I am usually very good especially when Mummy sits for hours at her desk. I have even learnt to wait when being served my delish meals – and only proceed to eat when told “ok”
Do tricks when asked – only the ones I like. I haven’t learnt too many – just “down”, “paw”, “give me five”, “twirl”, ” jump” over fences and I refuse to roll over – I think it’s demeaning. Actually Mummy agrees with me. I will learnt to say “please” not “beg” – will learn it eventually.
Show affection – as in above. I also show affection in the mornings (when I am excited about another day and breakfast)
Fetch the stick – I do go fetch but I do not return them. I like running past Mummy on my return!
No drinking from the toilet – never!!!! Yuck!
Always Faithful – of course! If I am excited to see Mummy’s wonderful friends doesn’t mean I am not faithful to Mummy. She’s my Mummy.
Ask to go outside – yes, I do. I nudge her or I give a short bark and look a little anxious. If Mummy does not respond, I go and sit in the bathroom. And if Mummy’s not available I go to the bathtub to release myself
Lick often – as in show affection? Yes, ok.
Don’t roll in the poop – I don’t actually. This is a big no-no.
Chase my tail – well, I do when I have pent-up energy and on a lead. Mummy thinks it’s quite funny. She’s amused each time – so we’ll keep this one as an ok rule.
Know that I am loved – all the time, even when I’ve been naughty.

