And I’d choose you, in a hundred lifetimes, in hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.
I remember telling Yaena on the first anniversary of Darcy’s passing, and she replied, “Surely, that is not the most important day of her life.” And it was then when I thought about it and she was right. It may be the saddest day but the best day of our lives together must have been the day we became each other’s.
I still remember that day—fourteen years ago—when she darted past me the moment I held the door open. In an instant, she raced straight into my heart. Before her, I knew almost nothing about dogs; after her, I became utterly, joyfully obsessed. She taught me what it meant to love without reservation—opening my heart in ways I never imagined. And while she gave me the greatest gift, you also led me to the hardest moment of my life when I had to say goodbye.
In recent weeks, leading up to today which is the anniversary of our Gotcha Day, there have been several moments that brought Darcy’s memory close to me again.
The first was when the Darcy Clematis in the flower pots on the kitchen window sill burst into bloom.
Then, one day last week, when I would normally be buried in work at my laptop, the cloudless blue skies and warm temperature told me we should head to the park. As I walked through the gates of Kensington Gardens, I became acutely aware that the last time I had been there on my own with Darcy and George was on the 18th December, 2021. We were waiting for test results after discovering two growths in Darcy’s abdomen just days earlier. My heart was heavy with worry, but we carried on with our usual Saturday walk. I could see that Darcy wasn’t her usual lively self — instead of racing ahead with George, she stayed close, trotting quietly by my side. That was our last walk there together. And that afternoon was the first time I’d returned alone, with only George and Lulu.
The cloudless blue skies reminded me of all those afternoons we’d spent in our favourite spot. I would sit reading, listening to music, and watching the world drift by. Every so often, Darcy and George would launch into a chase, sending squirrels scurrying up the trees, only to return moments later, tails wagging, having lost yet another pursuit. This time, George and Lulu sat quietly beside me, surveying the horizon — and I felt her there with us.
Just last weekend when we were having a group shoot with Andrew of Raven Imagery, one of our friends there was Mr. Darcy. It was his turn and Andrew was trying to get Darcy’s attention to look over. I called Darcy and he turned his head. We got the shot. Later that evening, Andrew sent me a text “… when you called his name (Darcy), it took me back to all those adventures.” It hadn’t even occurred to me.
I have a tattoo of Darcy on my left ankle – just knowing she’s always walking beside me. But I’ve been wanting to have another tattoo where I can see her all the time.
And just yesterday, I went along to Mulberry’s launch of their dog accessories, not expecting to make any purchases. There was this beautiful red leather collar – and they had only one left in XS. As I put it on against Lulu’s apricot fur, it brought back memories of Darcy’s first leather collar – it was a bright red colour from the House of Mutt. I did a double take – it was like I was looking at a mini Darcy.
Darcy transformed my world.
Today, and every day, I give thanks for her coming into my life. I may have by default chosen her but I think the Universe knew she was meant for me. And I know now that In a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.
You’ve got all my love. Happy Gotcha Day.
A beautiful keepsake from Darwin & Gray
