It’s good to talk

Sometimes, the people you think don’t want to talk to you are the ones waiting for you to talk to them.

The whole world had been through a year of lockdown because of the pandemic. Many have been isolated from others for months while they were shielding. The state of our mental health has taken a toll.

One of the ways in looking after your mental health is to keep in touch. We can’t imagine what the lockdown would have been like if not for the internet. In the days before the internet, it was just the phone. Zoom, FaceTime, GoogleMeets, etc., etc. have made it possible for us to see each other than just a voice call.

And when you do meet up with other, if you have worries, troubled thoughts or just down, try to talk about your feelings. Talking about what is bothering you isn’t a weakness. It helps to share and when you do, the load seems lighter and it has been voiced instead of it swirling inside your head.

One of our favourite quotes from Charles MacKesey was simply this –

“What is the best bravest thing you’ve ever said?” asked the boy.

“Help,” said the horse.

It isn’t always easy to ask for help – but there are a lot of people out there who are willing to listen. And to help. Reach out.

May’s comment: The 10-16 May is Mental Health Awareness Week and this year’s theme is nature. Check out tips from the Mental Health Foundation on being aware of your state of mind and how to help yourself.

I can’t say enough how important it was for me during the lockdown to have the responsibility of walking Darcy and George.

Everything seemed so bleak and the media’s over-dramatisation of every possible aspect of the pandemic and playing the blame game was doing my head in. I live alone and without anyone to turn to, my essential walks with Darcy and George was my escape. Never had walking the dogs and scooping their poop deemed as a privilege.

I remember so clearly in the early days of the first lockdown a year ago, Spring was in the air and the weather was milder. As we sauntered along deserted streets, we passed houses with gardens waking from dark winter days. In this neighbourhood where I have lived for the past twenty years, I noticed as if for the first time, every little detail of architecture, the gardens and nature. 

Once in the park, the dogs would dash around, chasing each other, oblivious that the world was slowly grinding to a halt and the terrible toil that was unfolding everywhere. I would sit on a park bench, listening to the rustling of leaves as a slight breeze blew and quietly contemplate how much our lives have changed. It also brought that sometimes overwhelming sense that I was alone in this pandemic. Yes, I had my dogs and I would be bereft without them, but I did not have another to unload the heavy thoughts building within me. 

Shielding indoors from the virus and living on my own, it was easy to let day melt into the next. With nowhere to go except for the need to get up each morning to feed Darcy and George, and then to walk them – they gave me some structure and purpose to the day.  In fact, their in-built timer meant they would nudge me whenever it was feeding time when I was oblivious to time passing while sitting at my computer. I had a responsibility to them and they never let me forget it. And when I settled back to watch yet another TV series, they were my loyal companions, offering back to me the comfort I had provided them

For more than a year now, we have lived through the pandemic and together we have survived it. The chance to walk with them, to be outside and in nature was an essential relief for them and for me. I would probably go so far as to say our daily walks to the parks and caring for them saved me from descending into depression. And I have a newfound appreciation that there’s so much nature around us, even in central London, if we take the time to look.

There has been a lot said about mental health awareness. In a recent BBC programme Roman Kemp: Our Silent Emergency focused on suicide amongst young men. One of the things I took away from it was talking. When we ask someone, “Are you ok?” don’t ask it just once and leave it when they say, “Yeah, I’m fine.” Ask again definitively and look at them in the eye. And again if you sense it is not ok because the truth usually comes out after a few nudges.

Just remember – Sometimes, the people you think don’t want to talk to you are the ones waiting for you to talk to them.

If you think someone needs to talk, call them.