If I have but one wish … 
I’d wish that the real Darcy cockapoo would leap out from under all those stuffed animals and play with me.
It’s been six months since we said goodbye. It seems a lifetime.
May’s comment: I had a collection of Cockapoo look-a-likes. I could never resist buying them. Well, they’ve come in handy now but no longer a collector of things, I am also scattering them to friends with little ones who could have their own little cockapoo lookalike to cuddle.
This one was a gift from a friend more than forty years ago … whom I had named Le Mutt! Maybe sub-concsciously I was waiting for a “Le Mutt” …
We have kept ourselves busy over the last six months. Travelling often, discovering new places and spending time with George (back to learning tricks). Having Sasha at boarding school had kept me grounded too. Things haven’t slowed down and there are even days when I didn’t light her candle because we were not at home. But whenever anyone brings up the subject I still find it difficult to talk about it. I go to great lengths detailing the days that began on the 16th December, recounting our time together of those last five weeks, and wishing I had done some things differently. Time doesn’t heal but life goes on and the daily activities fill a lot of the gaps. Never for a moment do I not wish Darcy was with us whenever we travelled. And so many mornings I still miss that snuggle moment when she jumps up on my side of the bed and curled up on my pillow – and I could lay like that until I had to get up. I will live forever with that sadness deep in our very being.
If I have but one wish, I would wish I can re-live the last ten years of my life with Darcy. There would be things I would do differently, there would be things I will definitely do more of, and leave many things behind.
I would love more, even more than I already did because the heart is capable of a lot! I would spend less time calling after you but more time watching you run like a lunatic through the park. I would spend even more time just sitting and watch you chase squirrels. I would travel further, longer and explore more places with you. I would hold onto every moment a little longer to absorb them into my soul and being. It’s been six months of heartbreak and I don’t want it to stop. Because as long as it hurts you are within me.
12 Responses
It’s a learning curve. Hindsight is a great thing always what ifs…. you can’t beat yourself up. You have to say I did my best at that time. We miss Darcy but love your adventures with George. You have a wonderful way with words and descriptions. Keep writing May. It can be very cathartic too. Much love to you and George x
Writing does absolutely help though sometimes I wonder if I am over sharing.
Hugs! ❤️I hope you can take comfort knowing Darcy is missed by many, and that her personality made many of us smile.
She was some lady, and I am truly honoured how many lives she touched. x
I can’t begin to imagine how much you miss her ,she was such a special and perfect lady .You had ten fantastic years together which nothing can ever spoil .
You and George are continuing her legacy so bravely and very gradually life will become a little easier without her physical presence but she’ll still be all around you 💖🐾🐾xx
I have never felt like this with anyone. She was one true, honest, beautiful thing in my life. Why she had to go so soon, I am waiting for the universe will tell me one day.
Dearest May and George. I’ve never felt such sadness as I did when beautiful MissD left… and I don’t exaggerate. I think I feel it more keenly because I know that my time is coming with my little maggiedog. She is 13, her little face is grey and she struggles to get up. My heart breaks at the thought of it. ❤️❤️
Just love as much as you can – and remember to live every moment you have together – so there will be no regrets when the inevitable happens. x
What a wonderful post. Wonderful because you and Darcy have such a great love.
I know you gave her the best life a dog could live! And the fact that you have all the words and pictures that document it is a blessing
Thinking of you and George always…
Thank you. x
May, I can’t really add any more than what the other posts have written. As I read the posts just now, I found my head nodding in agreement. May, you do have a way with words. Your love for Darcy has always been bright, and I still feel it as I continue to look forward to each post of what you and George are up to across the sea. Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts and adventures with your readers. Sending love from California.
Hi Valerie, thank you so much for your caring words. There are days when it just hits you in the stomach – it’s all the little things. I am grateful for George – I wonder what I would have done if I didn’t have him.