Being Mum

Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed. (Linda Wooten)

Today is Mothering Sunday in the UK.

I hear about motherhood through friends with children. Their stories have never made me envious nor made me yearn to be one. It just wasn’t a priority. I did wonder though if I may have missed out on those maternal feelings. To be honest, I question my ability to be a good mum. High expectations, a need for control and limited patience would have hindered the relationship.

When I unexpectedly got Darcy for all the wrong reasons, I was bewildered by this little pup whose presence consumed my attention, my daily routine – my life! Footloose and fancy free till she came into my life, I felt trapped and wondered if I had made a mistake. But little did I know that slowly but surely, our bond was growing.

I remember distinctly at one of our early agility sessions when Darcy had completed an obstacle course really well, one of the other dog owners present said to me, “She’s your baby, isn’t she?” I was taken aback. Sharon continued, “It’s just the way you look at her.” And recalling that moment still makes me tear up. It was a love that was to grow and even consumed me. Darcy taught me profound, unconditional affection.

Through Darcy’s complete dependency on me for her survival – feeding, caring, training, I felt not just the weight of responsibility but also the powerful role of caring for another. And her complete joy in seeing me each time, made me feel loved and appreciated. I also experienced the pain, helplessness and biggest heartbreak when she left unexpectedly.

While raising a child and caring for a dog are inherently different experiences, both can lead to significant personal evolution. The emotional bonds I had formed with Darcy, George, and Lulu have showed my capacity for love, patience, and self-discovery, reshaping my sense of self in unexpected and rewarding ways.​

So on this day, while George and Lulu can’t buy me flowers or take me to lunch, I celebrate how far I have come as a human being, and I treasure the love I have from them. Love that I never knew existed, nor ever experienced before.

Happy Mother’s Day to all mums.