It all began one day in mid-December when Mum was taking Little Tyke and his dad to Heathrow. Mum was sad that we were not spending Christmas together.
After she got home from the airport, her sadness turned to worry. She had received a text message from our dog walker, Joanna that I had blood in my urine. In fact it looked pretty scary as the blood was dark. Off to the vet we went – they slotted us in almost immediately.
As they were examining my abdomen, they came across a mass. Of all the lumps and bumps, Mum would never have found this one if not for the emergency vet visit. They did an ultra sound and found two masses. A quick sample with a needle to the pathologist came back with inconclusive results but it confirmed “nasty” cells. The next thing to do in a hurry was to consult with the oncologist. They recommended to open me up, to have a splenectomy to remove at least one of the masses. And to investigate what else was going on in my abdomen. Everything was moving at great speed.
Mum took me to the vet very early on the 22 December, the day after the Winter Solstice. As we walked to the vet, we looked up and saw the clouds in pink as they reflected the rising sun. Mum saw that as an omen for hope – that from now on, the days will get brighter as we head towards Spring.
I have never been afraid of going to the vet but this time I didn’t want to leave Mum. They had to carry me away.
When they opened me up, they found that there were several tumours on my spleen and they proceeded with the splenectomy. Unfortunately the other mass was on my intestines. They would have to remove part of my intestines which was not deemed a good idea. Instead they took samples to send to a lab to assess the aggressiveness of the cancer cells and then to determine what sort of treatment would be required.
I know Mum had a very difficult day waiting for the results that day. I wanted to get home to her too but I needed to stay overnight. After quite a massive surgery they needed to manage my pain. Mum came to visit me later in the day.
I was doing remarkably well according to the nurses and vets, so I was discharged to go home the next day – in time for Christmas. That was the important thing – to be together.
It’s those dreaded “C” cells that create such havoc in our lives. We can definitely do without them but it is the luck of the draw and I have been unlucky this time.
We are taking one day at a time and knowing this will lead to an eventual end – sooner than we would like, we are going to count each new day a blessing. We can only hope for more days rather than less.
We want to continue to make more happy memories and to wave goodbye with a smile on my face and say – I have lived a good life, and it was fun.
May’s comment: I had a foreboding sense that our time together won’t be stretched out to it’s max. Cockapoos can live up to 16 years and obviously we wished for that.
Ever since having shared a memorable 60th birthday with Darcy in St Paul de Vence and having celebrated her 10th during lockdown, I had made a mental note that when I celebrate the completion of my next decade, it would be impossible that we will be together.
When we found those “nasty cells” in her abdomen, I couldn’t believe that I was hearing those words. My world stopped, while my heart was racing.
Hemangiosarcoma of the spleen, or spleen cancer in dogs, is a cancer that is diagnosed in many canines every year. It is a cancer made up of the cells that line blood vessels, and therefore can be found in any part of the body. However, the most common sites include the spleen, liver and right auricle of the heart. (Avim.us)
Though we await the lab results of the samples, the time remaining upon diagnosis is usually not long.
The initial shock, the hope and then the disbelief and grief came fast and furious.
After four days of crying I was ready for her to come home. I turned my focus from me to her. How is she doing? Is she in pain? This is what living with cancer is about. She is now recovering from surgery and her discomfort comes from a healing wound. But in time to come, it is managing the dreaded nasty cells, managing her comfort level and just as importantly, making sure we are making more memories from the moments we have left.
I am sorry to be the bearer of sad news and this is probably unexpected for you too. But I have taken the Acceptance approach. This is life and she just had the unlucky draw. We had a good run though. It could have happened sooner but it didn’t. And only because we went to the vet for something else we avoided a potential spleen rupture and point of no return. For that, we are immensely grateful that we had this Christmas together. And my Christmas wish is for more time. May she defy the odds and that we can spend another Christmas together.
She is fine now, and we press on with our bucket list which has now been revised. It’s no longer important about new places or countries to visit nor things to do. The list will be less about adventures but rather journeying to say goodbye to friends who because of Darcy had brought us together.
As long as she is still food obsessed, that her reputation of being the greediest dog stays in tact, as long as she is still egging on George in the park, and protecting her Teddy from anyone and everyone except me, we shall keep living life.
We count ourselves lucky. This was a very special Christmas for us – we are grateful. It could have been the saddest one but it wasn’t.
We’ve had a good ten plus years together. We’ve had a good life. Unexpectedly, we bonded deeply and I became the girl with the dog. She will always be my dog, my first dog. She became my world.
This, unfortunately, comes with the territory of owning a dog. I know you will be thinking of your own situation, as I’ve had many a time when I’ve wept at the passing of another best dog!
From now on, we will be sharing about this chapter of our journey. It is after all a part of life’s adventures.
32 Responses
Thank you for sharing this very personal part of life’s journey with us , make memories,& feel the love of those all around you – sending love ,light and healing xxxx
Oh May, I am so sorry 💔
I hope you have many more beautiful memories- Darcy is such a special girl💕
Hamish, Cas & I love you all so much ❤️ Life’s Winter months are for counting each new day as a blessing – we know you’ll live these days with as much love & comfort as is possible xxx
Sending hugs to you. Treasure every moment. I am mum to an almost 15 year old Cockapoo and an 8 year old. They really are extra special dogs
So sorry, sending you love and the hope that you still have many more days together. Enjoy every one 💕💕xxxx
Dear May,
Cherish all the precious moments with her I’m sure Darcy does too. There are only happy memories. You’ve been so good for each other.
Sending lots of love and healing. ❤️❤️❤️
So very sorry to read this May, enjoy whatever time you have left together, take it one day at a time, make each count xx
So sorry to read this sad news, love and hugs to you both xx
So heartbreaking. And as you so positively say, unlucky. But that 10 year, hopefully 11 and more of love are worth more than 50 years of a life not so well lived. We are so grateful that Miss Darcy came into your life, heart, and then into ours. Big hugs to you, Miss Darcy and George. We will continue hoping that the pain is little and the time is as long and happy as possible ❤️
Oh May that is heartbreaking. Continue to make great
memories ❤️
Hi May I am so sorry to read this news, and I feel your pain. We had this with fudge in October but his has ruptured I can say my world stopped like yours and he spent four days in the hospital. We found out it was benign. So back to making memories. I wish Darcy a pain free journey making lots of new memories with you all. Keep us updated. Take care xx
Give Darcy our love. May she have many more moments with you and us ♥️
Oh Miss Darcy, this is an ‘adventure’ of a different nature & one that you were not expecting. I do hope you continue to journey, making your last memories as best you can for as long as you can.
Wishing you all the love in the world from Karen & Betsy. 💕
Oh May , I honestly can’t believe this sad sad news. I feel an unbearable sadness that this is happening to MissD and of course you and George. I have no words of comfort but I send you the biggest hugs. I will walk with you as you make these memories, knowing that you had the best life together. I know that I too will have to walk this journey with Maggie as we have less time in front of us than we have behind us. 💔💔💔💔
So sorry to hear this news it’s heartbreaking but we are all hear for you! Grief & sadness is the price we pay for loving and Darcy is so loved!
I know you will make as many memories as you can! We are with you on this journey as we have been over the years. Sending love & hugs, Julie & Bailey 💔💔💔
Oh you dear, dear girls ( and Georgie boy). I am sat here in tears after reading your sad but beautiful told story. I am heartbroken to hear of Darcy’s diagnosis but praying and hoping that she will beat the odds. Me and Olly are sending you all lots and lots of love <3
No words , hearbroken reading this. Sending you all our love and huge hugs for the 3 of you . Can’t turn the tears off right now .😭💔❤❤❤❤ Jill and Bobby
I am so very sorry to read this news. I pray you have many good times during this time. She is a special girl.
So sorry to hear this May. Give her plenty of cuddles and enjoy the rest of your time together. Sending you all ❤️
May, I’m so so sorry to hear this devastating news, I can’t believe it. I wish there was something I could say to relieve the terrible pain you are feeling, but of course there isn’t. I can only pray that Miss D beats the odds. 💔💔😢😢
May, I am very glad that you got Darcy to the vet before the spleen ruptured, I will never get over losing our Rory that way.
I know the adentures of Darcy will continue and my hope for you both is that time is on your side. Take care. Bern
I am shocked to wake up to this news.
I know you will give her all the love she needs in this next “adventure”.
Bless you for loving her so completely ❤️
So sorry to hear this. Make the most of the days ahead and we hope Miss Darcy is comfortable and not in any pain. We hope to see her at a Hyde Park meet before too long!
Sending you all ❤ and 🫂 .
so so sorry May to hear this sad news and may you have as much time as possible with your Darling girl . treasure every minute of every day and may she give you lots more of the wonderful joy she has given you over the time youve been together.sending healing thoughts and much love
Really sorry to hear this terrible news. We are thinking of you, Darcy and George. Lots of love and hugs, Fiona, Susanna & Blue
May
I can’t begin to know how you feel but I know if our Ellie was taken from us it would seem like our world had ended.
Thinking of all 3 of you and hope you have plenty of good times together
Oh, May, I just saw this. So very sorry.
Years ago, my Bebe was diagnosed with lymphoma at age 9. There was nothing to remove, lymphoma is in the lymph system and spreads throughout the body. That said, her vet felt chemotherapy would extend her good time, so we went ahead with it. She had 19 chemo treatments in 18 months, and she did very well, dogs seem to respond better and easier to chemo than humans. One morning, I woke up and saw the tumor under her chin had doubled in size from the day before. She could not eat or drink, and I knew the day had come to help her over the Rainbow Bridge. Her passing, in my arms, was peaceful and painless, and I was at peace too, knowing we’d done everything possible. I’d do it again: she’d had 18 extra good months, and so did we.
Just love on your girl and live each day to the fullest. You will always know that you gave her the most wonderful life a dog can have.
I’m so very sorry. We love reading about your adventures and it’s helped us so much when travelling with our little poodle. We wish you well at this difficult time and know a little about how you must be feeling as we have had two other poodles before our present one.
You have given her the happiest and most loved of lives and I hope you have lots more time together.Good luck.
Oh May, I am so sorry! I read this post in disbelief. Our heads know our pets don’t live as long as we want, but our hearts refuse to accept this!
Darcy will be in my prayers! I am an 18 year cancer survivor, I’m hoping Miss D will also have more years in her life! George, you and Darcy have brought so many smiles to so many, I know we all wish you comfort and peace.
Dear May, I am so sorry about Miss Darcy, thank you for sharing your sad news so beautifully. My Cockerpoo is from the same breeder and at one time I thought they were related. She too has suffered from lumps In the last year and now has a tumour on her adrenal gland. She is the same age as Miss Darcy and I know how you are feeling as we come to terms with Ruby’s prognosis. Like you we want to make the most of every minute we have left, they are adorable friends. My thoughts are with Miss Darcy, you and George and send hugs to you all xx
Nothing can prepare us for the loss of our fur friends, but knowing the love we have for each other helps.
Sending virtual hugs and healing light to you all ❤