A message from Darcy.
We were shopping at Sézane when we met Katie from @LondonCalligraphy who was handwriting beautiful notes for anyone who wanted them. Mum asked if she could write a message from Darcy to us …
A reminder from Miss Darcy to make lots of memories because we never know when there won’t be time to make any more.
Who knew that last December would have been the last time she would ride a train, visited the Memorial Garden for the first and last time, and celebrated our last Christmas and had our last beach walk at New Year’s. Mum was just ticking off our bucket list with so many plans for January and birthday trips in 2022 when it all came to a halt.
So, make memories while you can!
May’s comment: The month of December evokes so many memories – and while it is a month of celebration, it can equally be filled with melancholia for some.
Remembering at the start of December 2021, I was filled with so much hope and looking towards the future after coming out of Covid lockdown.
One of our bucket list items was the Orient Express but given it was a bit of a stretch, we settled for the British Pullman. I was always pushing boundaries to make this world a bit more dog-friendly. Sometimes it works, and other times they don’t. It was totally unexpected when I got a phone call from the General Manager to ask what we would like to do.
I couldn’t believe that we were allowed on the train! It truly was a memorable journey, forever etched in my mind.
As it turned out, it was to be her last train journey. We didn’t know then.
December is always about pretty lights, Christmas jingles, shopping for presents and enjoying the cold, crisp winter weather. As in every year, we had put up our old faithful Christmas tree, and our Advent wreath.
It wasn’t any different to other years. We met up with friends for cakes and coffee, even a birthday gathering for Cooper and a December Hyde Park Doodle Christmas Jumper Meet – with Sasha in tow.
We had some extra Christmas moments – attending a special 15th anniversary screening of The Holiday, one of our favourite Christmas movies, at Picturehouse with Jude Law making an appearance. I had asked for special permission to attend with Darcy.
It was all merry making and caught up with the festivities until a year ago today.
That morning I had driven Sasha and his father to the airport. Our dog walker, Joanna had taken Darcy and George out for walkies. I returned home to find them both back from their walk and a text message from Joanna along with a photo of pool of blood. She was shocked by the sight of what came out of Darcy. That was the moment when our lives turned on a dime.
A visit to the vet and a scan resulted in discovering two tumours. Samples were sent out to the lab on Friday and we wouldn’t get the results back till Tuesday. I remember being in the bus after leaving the vet when the phone rang. It was Sasha’s father who was transiting in Helsinki. I told him of the news.
“Listen, maybe they are malignant, maybe they are not. Let’s wait and see. But let me know as soon as you hear,” he said. Keep calm and carry on, was the modus operandi.
We spent the weekend and the following Monday going about doing things together and kept the news very much to myself. With a worry and a heavy heart, I took Darcy with me everywhere. I wanted to be with her – not just to make sure she was ok but in my heart, I knew it was the beginning of the end and every moment mattered.
You know the rest of the story. The vets suspected it was the incurable and aggressive hemangiasarcoma even before the results came back. They quietly cautioned me. Despite the odds, we celebrated our last Christmas together at Claridge’s – it was something that was longing the planning but Covid thwarted all our earlier plans. And last year, we spent our last Christmas together.
We even managed our annual beach walk on New Year’s Eve on Cornwall.
The days right after New Year, Darcy’s demeanour changed. Her eyes were dull as she got weaker and weaker. We went out only for toilet breaks but mostly stayed home, just living one day at a time. Life was passing us by …
This video of Darcy looking out the train window is one of my favourite memories. We had woken up in the morning, as the train was passing through beautiful Slovenian countryside. The scenery was like a painting. I was astounded at how she just sat and watched the scenery for a good period of time. To me, she was always a little human. She seemed to see things that I see. She always seemed to get what I needed from her.
I am thankful for the many miles of memories we’ve shared and I am consciously making memories with George. And as we do, Darcy will never be far from our minds as we continue our journey.
From the 1st of December I usually have Christmas jingles on all day but I haven’t this year, and don’t have the desire to sing and be merry. But I will go to the Carol service at the church where we had Darcy’s memorial service.
Our tree is lit but I didn’t bother to put up any ornaments. Maybe I will next year. I light the candle on Darcy’s urn with Christmas scented tea lights. The Christmas Advent wreath candles burn next to it.
I have taken pictures of George with the pretty lights but I wished I had taken better ones from our last Christmas together.
To our readers who have lost your furbaby or someone dear, this winter celebration will bring back many memories of years past. And when you feel an emptiness in your heart, and hard to make merry, do what you need to do. A friend, Anita shared this with me last night …
If Christmas is hard,
If you’ve lost someone dear.
Just look in your heart,
And you’ll know they’re still here.
The star in the sky,
The light falling snow.
The robin outside,
It seems like they know.
If this is a time,
When you’re struggling through.
Just do what you can,
For what matters, is you.
There’s no need to be merry,
There’s no need to be bright.
Just do what you can,
It will all be alright.
