The day has finally come.
This morning, I packed over 40 pre-portioned James & Ella freeze-dried food into a carrier bag for George. I am taking him to Michela, of Wondercoat where he will be spending Easter with her family along with Daxie and Stella in Cornwall! Lucky dog!
And tomorrow morning, Alison will be picking up Lulu just before I leave for the airport. She will be staying with her, hanging out with Ivy and Jet for the next two weeks. I bet, or at least hope, she’ll come back fitter than ever with lots of walkies.
The weight of anticipation hanged in the air as I gathered their belongings. This trip was months in the planning but as the day of departure draws near, each week leading up to it brought a heavy sense of melancholy, mingled with the usual hustle and bustle of preparing for the journey ahead.
I don’t think George and Lulu have sensed the shift in energy – yet. But Darcy always knew when the luggage made an appearance. She would follow me everywhere, watched my every move with her soulful eyes, always the worried look – will she be going with me or will she be left behind?
Despite the anticipation of new adventures, there’s an undeniable ache in my heart. This simple act of parting feels like a small betrayal. Although just a temporary abandonment, it tugs at the heartstrings. The pangs of separation intensify as the time comes to say goodbye. As I give them one last hug, it’s in these moments that the reality of departure sinks in.
To those who know me well, any more than four days away is a long time for me, especially without my dogs. And this time it will be two and a half weeks!!! Why did I agree to be away so long? There were many times when I wanted to abandon it.
The trip revolves around my niece’s wedding in Bali. It will be the first time that my sisters and I will be together since my father’s passing in 2011. With Samui close by, it’s off to see Sasha and family during their Easter break before joining them in the Maldives a week later, with a quick stop over in Singapore for some chow time.
This won’t be the first time I have left Lulu. I had a pre-planned trip to Cairo before her arrival was announced. And she trotted along with Michelle and Bailey on a busy weekend of adventures, unaware in those early days what it all meant. But six months later, I am very much a part of her life. Will she know that I will be back soon?
As for George, I have left him many a time when I could take only one dog. He always stayed with people he knew and who loved him, and it seemed he always adjusted quickly. But in the early days after Darcy passed, he would cry desperately whenever I handed him over to another. In my mind he must have thought I had abandoned Darcy and I was doing the same with him. 🙁
I remember too when I had to leave Darcy. The only times I ever felt alright when leaving her was when she went to the House of Mutt, the only place where she was happy to go to. She knew as soon as her cooler bag came out and filled with her Honey’s Raw food. She would be beside herself with excitement whenever the driver arrived to pick her up. Those were the only times she would happily jump into the car and not looked back. Her whole body breathed excitement and eager for the driver to get going to where she could be free and be dog! And that made me feel a bit better but the longing and missing her was palpable after she drove off in the car.
I know George and Lulu will be fine. Michela, Alex (and their children) will give George the cuddles and love, and he will get to run on the beach. Lulu will get as much lap time as Ivy and Jet, and she will share their bed. They will be fed and exercised but even knowing all this, the feeling of abandonment and guilt doesn’t go away. But this is reality.
Sometimes we just have to do things not the way we want to but have to. But remembering that in the end the only things we regret are the chances we never take.
Do you relate?
One Response
Totally. While we take her as many places with us as we can, the Asia long haul family visits she can’t go and while I know she’s in good hands I still feel awful when she gives me the big eyes of abandonment guilt but I often get a photo from nanny later with her settled and having a good snuggle. And she’s always so happy when I am back. You don’t leave them often for long and they are also well loved with their aunties and uncles. Kiss and enjoy!