Pssst …. George!

Hey Georgie Porgie, I have something to tell you.

Mummy told me that she’s been thinking about you everyday she’s been away.  So much so that she hasn’t really thought about me – probably she knows that I have hardly thought about her while I go for my walks and runs with friends at House of Mutt.  But that’s also because we’ve done this so often that I know this is our time apart.  We have our little breaks from each other, knowing that I will be going home again when she’s back.

But she’s thinking about you wondering if you’re ok.  She knows that you don’t really understand all this – this new pace of life. We’ve had you for only 11 days but it was never the plan for you to stay.  Mummy was only fostering you till you went to your new home – but  she decided she couldn’t let you go.  So she had to make plans for you to stay with someone you knew while she was gone.So Georgie-Porgie, don’t worry. She will be back in less than a week.  And we will play ear nibbling, tumbling and chasing again.

In the meantime, enjoy being with Paget and Bobby and the meow-meows. Mummy knows you’re in good hands.  She only wishes you understand that she’s coming back to get you.
Actually, you should know that all this is really positive.  Mummy realised how much she misses you. Now she truly knows you’ve entered her heart – 100%

May’s comment: It was probably all meant to be. I had this trip planned months before George happened into my life – pretty much all of a sudden!

George needed either a forever home or a foster home before he was allowed to come to the UK when he did. I had offered to foster another dog but he was taken. Hungary Hearts Dog Rescue asked if I could take George instead. Otherwise, he would be left behind.  With fear and trepidation, I said yes but under the condition that he will either be re-homed before I leave for my trip (in 11 days)  or Hungary Hearts would take him to another home. I had no intentions of adopting. But when the charity told me, on the day of his arrival that there was a family in Birmingham interested, I faltered.  Instead of being happy that his forever home came so soon, I postponed the next step of fostering.

It wasn’t an easy, thoughtless decision. I toyed with the idea all weekend and come Sunday night, I asked for an extension.  I knew I needed time to get to know him so a weekend wasn’t enough. And yet I was being unfair to not let him go to a loving home. I knew many others are capable of loving him. I also needed time away from the whole sudden “implosion” of events. Everything was happening too fast.  My head did all the calculations and logistics in managing a life with two dogs, and all the ticks were in place. However, I did not feel certain about dividing up my heart for him.

I knew that going ahead with the planned travel would be essential to the decision making.  I also questioned if it was fair for George to come into my life and to still be unsure.  I took comfort in those I confided in that they understood the difficulty in adjusting to two dogs. They all said George was perfect but was it for me?  While many encouraged me to go with it, they also qualified it with – “we understand if you don’t.”  They reassured me that the hardest part for George is over – that he is no longer left on the streets seeking food and shelter. And no longer facing death row. So I selfishly did not let him go. I needed to work on my comfort level.

So off I went, leaving him in the best possible place with Kim (and Paget and Bobby).  All too soon, I found myself thinking about him everyday. I thought about his little lean body that shivered in the cold. I thought about how quickly he gobbles up his food – just in case another dog came and got his share. I thought about his little whimperings – wanting to be with another being. I thought about his intelligent little mind striving to get into pole position for everything – even pushing Darcy out of the way when I am giving her hugs. I thought about his little face with big brown eyes with the worried look. I was yearning for those little feet on my knees, looking up at me asking to sit on my lap. I smiled to myself remembering how he runs around in circles with excitement when we’re going out or when he hears something rustling. And how he cocked his head when he was trying to figure out someone calling his name on Skype! 🙂

I found myself counting the days till I will be home to pick up that little lean body, to hold him close and to tell him again – he’s home and I will love him forever. Because I realised that my heart had grown another chamber – just for George, while Darcy is happily ensconced in hers.

I have heard, I’ve been told – that you don’t divide your heart. It grows. And I think mine did.