You never love the same

In September, it would be nine years since Mum had decided to adopt me. Still remembering clearly how she found herself in a dilemma soon after she did. Did she do the right thing by adding me to the fold? She was troubled because she felt she was betraying Darcy.

One afternoon when deliberating this with Tammy, Mum rambled on about her doubts and worries, seeking reassurance. She was worried that she couldn’t love the both of us equally. Tammy looked perplexed by Mum’s ongoing debate when she calmly said, “But we never love two beings the same because everyone is different.“

From that moment on, Mum’s burden lifted. She could let go of her guilt and she loved me for who I am and loved Darcy for what she is to her. She had given herself permission to love.

May’s comment: Over the past year we’ve met several #2’s. Puppies. They’re as cute as they come but the owners would say things like, “I feel so guilty for bringing the new one into our home. Our first dog feels put out by it.”

Or they would compare and say, “It’s not quite the same. I don’t have the same bond.” It always seems like the first dog was always better behaved and less crazy. Maybe we’ve forgotten they too were once puppies.

I was not any different. I said all the same things.

Darcy was my first dog and she grew up with me. We had a connection from when she was a pup. George arrived as a foster and challenged my maternal instincts both ways. He probably also felt he was always number 2, which he was.

When Darcy entered my life, she opened up my heart to loving unconditionally.

When George entered our lives, I learnt that I am capable of loving more than one. That my heart was expandable.

Thank you, Tammy, for your reminder and because of that, I have been able to continue to make memories and tick off bucket lists with George whilst our bond grew deeper as we relied on each other to heal our hearts.

In fact, we speeded up our bucket list. In the past 19 months, we’ve packed our bags and went on the road 13 times. Maybe it was me trying to keep busy and not dwell on the negatives. Or realising that anything can happen around the corner and to make the most of out time together because life can be long, or short. And importantly, to love and share the love because we can!

And so with that, we will welcome another into our home once again because my heart is ready.

To be continued …